Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
