Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize