I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
