I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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