I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
