My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i will never coherently bang her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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