That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
