Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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