...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
