i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
