I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
