make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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