FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
