oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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