Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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