Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
