I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
