How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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