he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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