I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
