You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My vagina just recognized that song.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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