I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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