just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
