this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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