Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize