I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"