My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
