Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
im holly from the hills drunk
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
