would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Are we still banned from the library?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
