I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize