My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize