Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
