Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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