the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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