Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
my poor anus
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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