After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
