yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
