His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
