remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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