yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
