When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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