walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am naked and annoyed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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