Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
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You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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