Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
