he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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