What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
