Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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