Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
