i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize