Barsexuality is the new black.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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