I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
