We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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