I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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