piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
In America we eat man semen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
