She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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