So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
