OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
