That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
