OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
