Is it normal to miss your booty call?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
