We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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