A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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