I'm jealous of your bromance
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
