Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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