how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
