im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
