I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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