My balls are so social today.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
