ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
